Rule One
by Mini Reyes
Summary: Rule number one on the Normandy: NEVER wake Commander Shepard if she is sleeping. Joker forgets the first rule.


"Has anyone seen Shepard?" Joker asked, leaving his seat at the cockpit and moving through the CIC. A few 'no's and shaken heads met his question, "EDI where is Shepard? It's not like her to just disappear." He hopped into the elevator and headed down a deck to see if Chakwas knew something. "EDI?"

"Commander Shepard is still on board the Normandy and has not left her quarters since returning from the last mission."

"What? Still in her cabin, well is she alright? She never sleeps past 10 and it's midday! Something must be wrong."

"From my understanding the adult human requires between 8-10 hours of sleep per day, Shepard remains within those parameters. Your concern for the Commander is noted."

"But this is abnormal for Shepard, she always wakes up oh six hundred hours no matter what, she's like a machine!"

"I noticed that you didn't have your usual coffee this morning, perhaps the lack of caffeine is having an adverse effect on your judgement."

"Are you saying that my judgement is impaired EDI?"

"I have studied the effect caffeine has on humans since most of the crew drink it and it to frequent drinkers it seems to have adverse effects upon stopping."

Joker sighed, this wasn't helping to ease his mind, "EDI just tell me that Shepard isn't dead in her cabin?"

"Shepard isn't dead in her cabin."

"Very reassuring." Joker said dryly, the elevator opened but he stayed where he was as he conversed with the ships AI.

"Was that sarcasm?"

" _Yes_ EDI, it was."

"I do not understand."

"You have access to everything on the Normandy, can you just humour me and check that she is fine?"

"The Commanders cabin in privacy mode, that would be a violation of her privacy."

"It's always in privacy mode whether she's in it or not!"

"The thermal sensors would indicate that the Commander is fine."

"Thermal sensors? So she has the heater on, that doesn't prove anything. You know what, I'm just going up to up there and find out for myself."

"I would recommend against that course of action."

Joker activated the elevator again, "Something could still be wrong EDI, the Commander was acting very strange yesterday. I don't like it, something's up and I'm going to find out what it is."

"The Commander has been under a lot of stress for as long I have been a part of this ship, I see no reason to be concerned that she hasn't woken."

"That's true but Shepard has always been clock work with her routine no matter what the circumstances. You know that once she went three days without sleep and even then she was still up the next day at 6."

"I must advise you against entering the Commanders cabin for the sake of your own wellbeing."

"Your concern is noted EDI." Joker replied, leaving the elevator and opening the cabin door.

He never made it through the door however, stopping short at the sight before him. His commanding officer was indeed still asleep, her bare shoulders displayed the marks of the enjoyable evening she'd had previously, still bright red and glaring against her light skin. From where the sheets rested midway up her back he could see as her breath caused her body to rise and fall. The sight was brief as he suddenly found himself flying backwards and into the elevator he had just left.

"Can't a woman get a little sleep around here?!" Shepard grumbled, pulling the sheet above her shoulders and curling into her pillow.

Liara appeared from the bathroom in of the Commanders longer jackets to find out what the commotion was about and found Joker still stuck to the wall of the elevator. She strode over, overpowering Shepards stasis field to release him and activating the lift to take the man back to the CIC, "You have no idea how difficult it was to get her to sleep. You should know better than to wake her on her day off," She said, stepping out of the lift before it could close her in.

Joker, still stunned just nodded, "Yes Ma'am." He did know that the Commander hated to be disturbed on the extremely rare days where the galaxy wasn't demanding something of her. Today was one such day since it would take them the entire day just to get to their next destination. "Don't even say it EDI."

"Say what?"

"'I told you so'."

"I am above such behaviours."

Liara strode back into the cabin, shedding the jacket she had borrowed and crawled up behind Shepard, leaning over her to place a flurry of kisses over her cheek and the curve of her jaw.

"Mmmmm, sleep," Shepard protested making no move to stop Liara or get up.

"Is that what you _really_ want though?"

"Mno. I want you," She mumbled, wrapping an arm around her bondmate and pulling her down next to her, "in here with me. Much better," she conceded, burrowing her head against Liara's collarbone.

Liara shifted into a more comfortable position but remained on the bed, with nowhere to go she could find no reason why they couldn't stay in bed and thus complied with the Commanders wish. She placed a kiss on top of Shepard's head and then closed her eyes, dozing lightly when the pattern of Shepard's breathing reached a rhythmic slowness. _Mm, sleep._


End file.
